1. |
Prologue (Sam)
02:45
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I came into this world a stranger,
a meager carpenter by trade.
I will leave this world a king.
I was baptized into wealth by the death of a great-aunt in Israel
(who’s name I can’t quite remember)
On this cornerstone, this $50,000,0000 lump sum, I have built my church:
Stained glass skylights,
escalator and elevator access to three floors, 87 stores
Books and beds, pots and pianos, burgers and boots.
Come to me all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you stuff!
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2. |
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I still remember the first day I walked into Chapters ISP:
The rapturous smell of wall-to-wall books,
light pouring through the skylights onto glistening jackets of discounted hardcovers.
I am breathless as I recount walking to the checkout
with a copy of The Encyclopedia of Music of Indigenous Peoples of Canada for $14.99.
I bought books, mountains of books,
ravenously filling my home with piles of carefully formatted and bound paper.
I dutifully read books, every last one,
and incorporated them into my lectures where appropriate.
Oh what joy!
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3. |
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Although I am an ethnomusicologist by trade,
I have learned a few things outside of my speciality—
that colours and designs can free the spirit, can bring the soul to a higher plane.
To this end I have a duvet for every colour of the rainbow—
blue for calm, red for passion, yellow for happiness etc. etc. etc.
I have plates for every dish and dishes for every food.
I have settings for every season,
a cupboard of Christmas trees, turkeys and clovers.
Oh what joy!
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4. |
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Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I could dine on international delicacies here in Brandon, Manitoba.
Sushi, Italian Sausage, and Swedish meatballs!
French fries and French toast and French bread!
Let’s not forget Belgian Waffles!
No longer must I pack a lunch,
with International Shopper’s Palace only a five-minute drive from the university.
What joy!
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5. |
Sam's Suicide (Sam)
03:04
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I have been stabbed with a double-edged sword,
they have pierced my side;
The citizens of Brandon are too debt-straddled to continue buying,
And the remaining buyers are purchasing their precious things online.
I am ruined.
After all I have done for them, they scatter like sheep.
Dear great-aunt from Israel,
let this cup pass from me!
Let me return to my dusty workshop in historic downtown—
to sandpaper and circular saws!
I curse the day the dove called me,
conceived in me the plans for International Shopper’s Palace.
Nothing remains but to throw myself over the third floor railing,
into the fountain below.
May its nozzle pierce my heart!
Ahhhhhh!
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6. |
Sue's Suicide (Sue)
04:46
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I am weary,
not happy or fulfilled as has been promised.
I am unable to keep up with my reading,
equally unable to stop buying new books.
Heaven help me, if I can actually remember anything I’ve read.
My credit card runneth over.
My overstocked linen closet smells of mildew
and I have not opened half of the bed sheets I bought.
Holidays come and go without using my cookware and table settings
for I do not permit anyone to enter my cluttered home.
Ha! Cluttered is an understatement.
I am a hoarder! I have become a hoarder!
And I am fat!
Every month I pay for a membership at the ISP gym
and every month I intend to go,
but I end up at the food court instead,
eating a burrito or a big mac!
I am ruined.
I curse the day I set foot in International Shopper’s Palace,
that great deceiver, that ancient snake.
The city is a-buzz.
Sam has thrown himself over the third floor railing,
into the fountain below, the nozzle lodged in his eye-socket,
and today I will take the same plunge to my death.
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