The Order of St. Arabica: A ONE-ACT OPERA LIBRETTO CHARACTERS Nun: Joins the order of St. Arabica at a young age and struggles with her place in the abbey Promotional Jingle for “Convent Coffee” For your morning cup of joe or to get through your afternoon low consider “Convent Coffee”: prayerfully produced by the sisters of the order of St. Arabica FIRST CONFESSION I confess I have not loved as I should, I confess I have not partaken of the blood and the body as I should, And I confess my work has not been motivated by a joyful heart ------ Fifteen years ago, Excitement, anticipation walking towards the doors of the abbey My last pack of cigarettes lying at the bottom of a garbage can miles away, Waving goodbye to my widowed mother standing beside our—no, her station wagon in the heat and humidity as long as she could bear before making the two-day trip back to an empty house. Perhaps the prioress was right. I did not have a father in those crucial pre and post pubescent years. I confess I noticed the sisters, not all, but most of the sisters. The hints of form as we shuffled through the cloister, Forbidden curves swaying back and forth, rising and falling as we found our place in the chapel. I confess I could not focus as we sat in prayerful silence, pondering the divine, bodies nearly touching in those narrow pews. I felt the warmth! I felt the oppression bearing down on me from all sides! I feared they would see my beating heart bursting through my habit. It was not always like this, but most of the time. Yes, I confess, most of the time. Promotional Jingle for “Convent Coffee” For your morning cup of joe or to get through your afternoon low consider “Convent Coffee”: prayerfully produced by the sisters of the order of St. Arabica SECOND CONFESSION After the prescribed day of fasting, when conversation resumed around the common table, I confess the falsehood in my heart as we spoke of a better place, the afterlife, streets of gold, eternal communion, heaven. Heaven. How strange that word sounds to me now. I confess my sudden panic, the first intrusive thought as they lowered her body into the ground. Was it from deep within or a devilish voice from without? I knew Sister La Toya was nowhere to be found, on any earthly or spiritual plane. I knew there was no ushering in at the pearly gates—no reward for all her toil. I confess since that day I have been plagued by doubt—more accurately, a certainty as to this terrifying reality, a dark night of the soul unresolved by any prayer or spiritual counsel. I fear so deeply that I will take my own leave in this wretched state. Promotional Jingle for “Convent Coffee” For your morning cup of joe or to get through your afternoon low consider “Convent Coffee”: prayerfully produced by the sisters of the order of St. Arabica FINAL CONFESSION It is a great relief to be relieved of my outdoor work, Sitting at the window, watching the other sisters picking, sorting and pulping, an electric fan blowing on my frail body. I see smiles on their faces, as they chat chat chat, Their free minds filled with simple facts. I confess I only rarely received comfort from those wonderful simple facts: a oneness amongst those consecrated to Christ, a purpose in the larger community, a privileged place in the divine plan. My dear holy mother! I confess I believed all of this would pass! All of my doubt, my desire, my spiritual depression. After all this time I expected to be farther along! I have not been happy but I have stayed by faith—always waiting just a little longer for a breakthrough. For fifteen years it has been just a little longer! And now I have months, weeks, maybe only days. Dear God, how can this be my end? I know it is spreading and I cannot bear to look. Please stay with me. Promotional Jingle for “Convent Coffee” For your morning cup of joe or to get through your afternoon low consider “Convent Coffee”: prayerfully produced by the sisters of the order of St. Arabica